The Mindfulness Wedge- Interrupting Automatic Hurt And Anger

The space between a situation and our reaction is sometimes referred to as a “mindfulness wedge.” By interrupting our automatic hurt or anger that we often feel in certain situations, we create an opportunity for something different: a more honest, appropriate, and authentic response to emerge.

By becoming aware of the unconscious processes driving our emotional reactions, we create choice and the opportunity to live a more conscious life, a life defined by our intentions rather than our instincts.

We cannot change our habits and patterns without first becoming aware of them. The following exercise helps us become more aware.

Begin to notice common cues that signal you have been triggered. Usually, these are situations in which your reaction to the situation is stronger than called for, when our response doesn’t seem “right sized.”

When you notice that you are beginning to experience symptoms of an overreaction, take a time out:
Remove yourself from the situation.
Be alone.
Take several long, slow breaths.

Be compassionate with yourself, and treat yourself as you might a close friend. Acknowledge that having strong reactions is part of being human and that, in the past, these strong reactions may have kept you safe.

Begin to approach yourself with curiosity. Ask yourself:
What emotions are present? Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Guilt?
What bodily sensations do you notice? Racing heart? Muscle tension? Headache?
What thoughts emerge? “I hate this,” “I can’t stand this,” “This is unfair”?

If you keep a journal, record the experience in your journal. You may find it helpful to enlist the help of a partner or close friend, asking them to help you notice when you reactions aren’t right sized and encouraging you to take some time to yourself to explore and discover your inner thoughts and emotions.

Taking a class and sharing with others is a great way to boost your practice.
We have multiple classes and workshops coming up to help you get started, including a virtual and in-person classes and workshops.
Visit our classes or workshop page